How can I get over trauma, heal the pain somebody caused me? Here are some answers the Bible gives us: Forgive, Trust in God, Show kindness. As I felt sad and anxious this morning, I wondered why trauma from the past still bothers me? It’s been twenty years, and yet, it seems like the pain is still alive somewhere in my heart. So, I’ve been looking for help in the Bible, and I found that passage where Jesus is on the cross in Luke 23:34 “Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they’re doing…” and it brought soothing tears to my eyes, as it seemed like a good beginning of the answer I was looking for.
Forgive
First, Forgive. For you, not for them. Forgiveness is liberating. Very often, people who hurt others don’t even realize they did. Therefore, while you are suffering and tormenting yourself, reliving the trauma, those people live their best lives, unconscious of their actions. Sounds unfair, doesn’t it? It doesn’t have to be that way. You received peace and deserve to experience it. The only way to do so is to forgive those who hurt you, no matter how bad they did you wrong or how difficult it may seem. As he faced the people who put him to death, Jesus found the strength to forgive them because He knew they were unconscious. You can find some relief from the need to understand why they did that to you, relieving anxiety and sadness once you understand they were unaware of how bad they hurt you. Through forgiveness, you can find peace and freedom.
Trust in God
Remember that there is only God. When Jesus says that sentence, He is in extreme pain, yet He holds on to God’s love and truth. The truth is: that the devil is defeated. Therefore, there is no evil. Those people hurting others are just ignorant of God’s love. Since you know God and His infinite love for you, you can model Christ and declare that truth, even in your worst days. Focus on the idea that you are loved, not on your present pain. Better things are coming; it is a promise from your creator. I know, it is not easy. Please try, like I did, and start by repeating this truth to yourself and believe it. You are loved.
Kindness
Treat others with kindness. Just because someone mistreats you doesn’t mean you should do the same. I heard Joyce Meyers say, “hurt people hurt people,” and it does make sense. Very often, people don’t deal with their trauma and repeat the same pattern they experienced. They hurt others because that’s what they learned to do. I am not saying it is an excuse, but it personally helps me understand why they acted that way. Now, because I am aware of the risk of repeating wrongdoing after experimenting with it, I can break the cycle and treat people the way I wish to be treated. I will not make innocent people pay for the mistakes somebody committed on me, nor will I seek revenge.
Forgive yourself and be kind to yourself
All these principles apply to yourself. We often feel bad because we think we could have avoided being hurt, so we blame ourselves for poor decisions we took in the past. Well, maybe you didn’t know better, and that’s ok. You need to find the strength to forgive yourself. A therapist once recommended that I write a letter to myself, to the younger version of me. I can only recommend that you try this. It helps put things in perspective and allows you to take the time to talk to your racing mind, slow it down, and say kind words to yourself.
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